It is me again, at that time of the year that you hear from me the most and I feel overwhelmed and anxious and sad and happy and grateful, blessed and truly amazed by your presence in my life. It seems though that I always come to the end a year with the same feelings again, that I have let you down, that I have not done what I could and have left so much undone. If I could sit in front of you and look you in the eye and have an end of the year evaluation, I fear what you may have to say. Listen, really, I try, I do and I start off each and every day and at the end of each night asking for your help, but Lord, it’s just hard to always see your plan and when I do its still hard to be able to follow it! I am afraid that I have disappointed you.
I think about what my life would be without you though and how impossible it would be for me to count on my own judgements, how ridiculous it would be for me to think I know what is best for me and for those whom I love, that without your counsel what would I do?! How could I go to sleep at night if I knew I could not talk to you? So Lord, my dear Heavenly Father, please continue to have mercy and patience with me for as long as it takes because I really do love you and I really do need you and I’m not sure what I would do without you. I’m asking for this chance to continue on with you and all your angels by my side, even though I know I am not worthy. Maybe this is the year dear God, the one that you have been waiting for, when I bring you more praise and share more of your love, that I would be able to unselfishly give away instead of hold onto things that are of the world.
As usual I feel a little better now that I have been able to once again pour out my heart to you. You have brought me peace once more and I feel you with me. Thank you dear Lord, thank you.
Yours in Christ,